3.15.2006

the what's what in so many words...

So I've noticed I don't update much.

2 reasons, one good, one not good and if there are more they're inscrutably Freudian and would take a more introspective mind than this one to reveal.

The Good:
I am living a pretty full life these days. The melancholy I can see in my last post is nowhere to be found in my head these days. Z arrived safe and sound and began her journey with us. She's amazing and smiles brightly and lightly. We could use a low-key introvert around here, but from the looks of it she's not going to fit that description very well. She already looks at you like she knows...you know. She just knows. And I love that she knows. Too good, too good.


In addition I think I've finally accepted fellowship is coming to an end this June, and with it my time here is likely drawing to a close. Mentally it's been like I'm preparing to leave a marriage, and I guess that's a good analogy because I've seen more of the Towers than U over the last 8 years. The Powers that Be made me a strong offer and I was set to take it until Buffalo provided an alternative that is just too good to say no to. As far as problems go, that's a good one I know. A genuinely flattering one. For the first time in a while, everything's is humming along nicely. An interesting note (to me at least): since I started to consider leaving the nest, I've begun to eat healthier and exercise again....that has to mean something...

The Bad:
My computer is very slow. No doubt I've downloaded a dubious file or two in my time (insert my standard "Red-Blooded Canadian Boy" defense here), but this is ridiculous. I feel like formatting the hard drive and starting from scratch. It really has made it a chore to log on and blog, despite my alleged DSL connection. But I am pushing through and going to challenge myself to try to write something, anything everyday for a week. This has already been a pretty amazing 3 months of my life and years from now I'd like to be able to sift through this ephemera and celebrate my depudgifying self with the clarity that only my insightful prose can provide. Naturally you, my loyal subjects/readers/fans will have this opportunity as well through the glory of my archives.

But not before I format this frakking harddrive and start from scractch.

Actually maybe I have hit on Reason Number 3. I feel the need, even if only for myself, to write well here, and be entertaining if possible, again if only to myself years from now. With the hours I keep and my odd schedule there has been a reluctance to sit here with less than a full tank and try to make it work. Until I hit on the solution:

Screw quality and just go for daily entries of varying stinkiosity confident that statistically something brilliant has to come out in the end.

So for anyone still passing by, the Merdstorm of posts is upon you. Good night and Good luck.