the year ahead
I've waited so long to post again, all of you who initially checked in and left comments or emailed have probably assumed I've given up on this project. Reasonable, but as it turns out, I like this occasional creative outlet and actually think about it when stuff happens around the homestead. If it turns into nothing more than a record for a guy who's good with medical details, and lousy with personal ones, then that alone would make it worth the effort. So welcome to 2006, and on with the show...
To start, I am now officially Board Certified by the A.B.I.M. for my second specialty. Some of you may have heard me addend the phrase with A.L.B.L. [At long bloody last]. The other thing that pops into my head is 2 down [IM, GC] and 1 to go [EP - coming to a computer terminal near you November 2006]. There was a moment of personal euphoria when I found out - I stepped outside myself on some level and timed it at about 15 minutes, but mostly the satisfaction came from the reaction of my wife - an enthusiastic hug and kiss that made me feel truly joyful, like I did when we were a little younger and were taking our USMLE exams to get residency spots. Equally uplifting was the warmth and celebration of my friends and family. As cranky as I get about the process, it does provide incontrovertible proof that I am fortunate to be surrounded by quality people who genuinely care about me. After a day of heart-felt congratulations and hugs, it felt like these things really mattered.
Which as everyone knows, they do and don't. Fail something like this, and the reattempt will feel like you're climbing Mount Improbable -doubt is not only palpable but a taste that never leaves the mouth. Pass one though and very quickly, despite your best attempts to stave it off comes the inevitable sense of ennui, the undeniable instinct that nothing could adequately compensate you for the valuable time, work and anxiety you invested into the effort - least of all another piece of paper for the wall. But this is the game, and it still feels good to know progress in some limited form, is being made.
On the homefront, we're still waiting on Z. Life is an anticipitatory lull, cleats in the blocks, breathing quicker, just waiting on the gun.
The other two just get more interesting with each day, L is reading and M is quickly catching him on verbal skills, so the house is full of talkers, opining on everything from the observation that I watch too much TV to the fact that I haven't used my Smith Machine in over 3 months. Which is true...the other day in the CCU, a nurse who's known me since I was an intern greeted me with the so-true-its-painful: "Doctor, you are getting tubbier every day." Moments like that I try not to lose sight of what an odd guy I am, and try to and enjoy that about myself. Equally so, I like to have something to work on. So I guess I'll go work out. Pray for me!
To start, I am now officially Board Certified by the A.B.I.M. for my second specialty. Some of you may have heard me addend the phrase with A.L.B.L. [At long bloody last]. The other thing that pops into my head is 2 down [IM, GC] and 1 to go [EP - coming to a computer terminal near you November 2006]. There was a moment of personal euphoria when I found out - I stepped outside myself on some level and timed it at about 15 minutes, but mostly the satisfaction came from the reaction of my wife - an enthusiastic hug and kiss that made me feel truly joyful, like I did when we were a little younger and were taking our USMLE exams to get residency spots. Equally uplifting was the warmth and celebration of my friends and family. As cranky as I get about the process, it does provide incontrovertible proof that I am fortunate to be surrounded by quality people who genuinely care about me. After a day of heart-felt congratulations and hugs, it felt like these things really mattered.
Which as everyone knows, they do and don't. Fail something like this, and the reattempt will feel like you're climbing Mount Improbable -doubt is not only palpable but a taste that never leaves the mouth. Pass one though and very quickly, despite your best attempts to stave it off comes the inevitable sense of ennui, the undeniable instinct that nothing could adequately compensate you for the valuable time, work and anxiety you invested into the effort - least of all another piece of paper for the wall. But this is the game, and it still feels good to know progress in some limited form, is being made.
On the homefront, we're still waiting on Z. Life is an anticipitatory lull, cleats in the blocks, breathing quicker, just waiting on the gun.
The other two just get more interesting with each day, L is reading and M is quickly catching him on verbal skills, so the house is full of talkers, opining on everything from the observation that I watch too much TV to the fact that I haven't used my Smith Machine in over 3 months. Which is true...the other day in the CCU, a nurse who's known me since I was an intern greeted me with the so-true-its-painful: "Doctor, you are getting tubbier every day." Moments like that I try not to lose sight of what an odd guy I am, and try to and enjoy that about myself. Equally so, I like to have something to work on. So I guess I'll go work out. Pray for me!
posted by Iakaris aka I.A.K. at 11:52 AM
2 comments
